【Christmas and Lovers】
I am chatting with a friend on MSN right now, he is a boy who is one year younger than me. He has been complaining the stores wherever he goes have too many decorations just because of the coming of Christmas.
I asked him why he doesn't like those decorations, and this is what he thinks: holidays such as Christmas and Valentines day are for only lovers, it makes him feel sad whenever he sees them. I told him that it isn't true, people without lovers can also enjoy those special holidays very much. Now he is self-pitying, and I don't know what I should say to make him feel better. Keeping on thinking negatively isn't the usual way he does, perhaps it is because too many lovers appear in the store he works, so he becomes so sensitive. I guess once he had a girlfriend, he wouldn't think it is so wonderful at all, all he thought about will be the spending of presents for each special days.
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"I am chatting with a friend on MSN right now, he is a boy who is one year younger than me." This is the kind of sentence you have to watch out for. It has two problems: verbosity and a comma splice. It should read this way:
"I am chatting with a friend on MSN right now, a boy one year younger than me."
Optional "that" really isn't optional here: "He has been complaining that the stores wherever he goes..." is how it should be.
This is a bit verbose: "just because of the coming of Christmas." It should be "just because Christmas is coming".
"only for lovers. It...". That's two comma splices in two paragraphs.
And this is a third in the very next sentence, but another "that" saves the day: "I told him that it isn't true, that people without lovers can also enjoy those special holidays very much."
How about "He's feeling sorry for himself" instead of "Now he is self-pitying,"? The former is more natural.
The word order of the next sentence is strange. It should be "Perhaps he sees too many lovers in the store he works for, and he's too sensitive because he doesn't have one but desperately wants one." Or something like this.
"I guess that once he has a girlfriend, he won't think it..." is correct grammar here. But I don't know what "it" refers to, nor do I understand what the rest of the sentence wants to say. Do you mean that he's such a negative thinker that if he had a girlfriend, he'd only worry about how much he'd have to spend for Christmas and Valentine's Day presents for her instead of being pleased that he has someone to love and to love him?
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