2007年9月18日 星期二

Writing 2

【What a Small World 】


The other day while I was chatting with some of my new friends, they mentioned about some other two people they know as photographers who take amazing pictures. Being curious about what they said, I went to their blog on the Internet. The first album I clicked in astonished me, the model is the one who I know, and the place is where we met a month ago. It means that we've met before. What a small world!

1 則留言:

Ping 提到...

I recommend you split "The first album I clicked in astonished me, the model is the one who I know, and the place is where we met a month ago." into two sentences.

Like"The first album I clicked in astonished me. The model is the one who I know, and the place is where we met a month ago."

Or maybe you would like to use "--" to attach these two sentences. Probably you would find it more simple to stop at certain point.

I would also suggest you on elaborating on "new friends." It helps your paragraph be clearer.

Good job!