【Annoying】
My friends and I drove a model to Tainan last Saturday. We took dozens of pictures around a classical European building. There were some other photographers and models as if there was a competition, for those who had a camera all looked professional. While we were taking pictures of our model, there were two men holding expensive cameras came across. They walked around and starred at the girl we were taking photos until one of my friends invited them to join us. To be friendly, we exchanged our MSN after we ended up in that evening, however; I found both of them actually are trying to find opportunities to date our model. She complained with me about their boring conversation. How come a person can be so annoying!
6 則留言:
Your first sentence needs to be explained before the middle of the post. I had no idea what you meant by "a model". It would have been better to say "a photographer's model". That would tell the reader that it was a person.
"there were two men holding expensive cameras came across." should be "two men holding expensive cameras came over".
"starred" is a misspelling; it should be "stared".
Why did you feel the need to be friendly? I would never give my email address to a stranger just "to be friendly". It gives men in particular the wrong idea.
"You have to say "she complained to me".
Your last sentence is a question -- a rhetorical question, but a question nonetheless -- not an exclamation, so use a question mark "?", not an exclamation mark "!".
Clear enough for business.
"They walked around and starred at the girl we were taking photos until one of my friends invited them to join us." This sentence is strange. I think "They walked around and starred at the girl. We were taking photos until one of my friends invited them to join us." will be better.
starred? I think you misspelled it. Otherwise, your article is clear and easy to understand.
Your article is detail and I can understand easily. Well, I think an annoying person may be hated by people.
"To be friendly, we exchanged our MSN after we ended up in that evening, however; I found both of them actually are trying to find opportunities to date our model."
, however; ->;however,
oh!it was a"real model",i thought "she" was the sample which makes your pictures lokked beatiful. mybe you can make sentence like that "my friends and i drove to Tainan and we had a girl who was going to be our model." but i was interest in this article.
張貼留言