【What Are Friends For?】
She used to take advantages from others, for example, instead of spending 1 dollar to print her assignment at the printing store, she asks another classmate who owns a printer for help every time. Also, she never uses her own thing when other people have it, it is always nice to save ones thing and squander others. Are friends simply people to take advantages from only when needed? Aren't they for filling and lightening up our lives and supporting us when we are under depression situation? Whatever the answer is, surly enough, I don't think I will be that kind of person's friend.
2 則留言:
Not at all a silly question. One of the problems with friends that really aren't friends is that they do their best to use you for whatever you're worth. They tell you how wonderful you are and expect to be rewarded for their flattery.
One of my closest friends one day woke up and realized that he was being far too generous to all those people who called themselves his friends. He was actually part of the problem he was having with false friends. He was afraid that people wouldn't like him if he didn't agree to give them whatever they asked for. Therefore, lots of people took advantage of him.
You can read stories about people who suddenly become rich and famous and then have a lot of "friends" they never knew they had. Those people are friends for as long as the money lasts. And when the money's gone, they too disappear.
Real friends care about you because you and they share interests. I don't know how you decide who your friends ate, but I decide by the feelings I have when I'm with them. If I smile and feel good when I see certain people, and if I find myself talking to them for hours and hours without getting bored, then I know that this person is my friend. I never judge the strength of my friendships by how much they can do for me or I can do for them, just how strong my good feelings are when I'm with them.
Since I've been in Taiwan, I've gotten to know hundreds of people well enough to decide whether we can be friends or just acquaintances. I know a few Taiwanese and foreign teachers here, a few students from my first few years teaching at Nantai, a lot of doctors and dentists and professors from NCKU for whom I've revised medical papers, and some neighbors from Shanhua in Tainan County.
Of all those hundreds, I can call only a very few of them my friends. And my best friends and I don't see or talk to each other that much these days: we're all much too busy.
There are some people who would like to be my friend, but I just can't talk to them very much. Yes, I like them and enjoy talking to them from time to time, but I wouldn't want to go out to dinner with them.
Just knowing that I have a couple of good friends is enough for me. If I have a problem, they help me. If they have a problem, I help them. But I don't take advantage of my friends, and they don't take advantage of me.
Friendship is, in many ways, like a good marriage. It has to be balanced. Good friends -- real friends -- don't keep a list of the favors they've done you or that you've done them and then do what they can to take advantage, but they don't want to owe you anything, nor do they want you to owe them anything. They want to be there for you if you need them, and vice versa. The two of you have to be equal in the relationship.
Get rid of people who use you for what you have and what you can do for them.
Friends should help each other when they have difficulties. However, some like to use friends where there are any benefits. So, i agree with your opinion.
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